I believe. Help my unbelief.

Some people come up to me and ask if I have ever prayed for healing. I have had a disability that affects my balance, muscles in my legs and walking since I was two years old. I have been a Christian since I was six, but the thought of being healed never became real to me until I was 23.

Even after I believed that I could be healed, I wasn’t. And I am still not physically healed. Occasionally I still have the conversation about healing and how faith correlates with healing. “Do you not have enough faith to be healed?” “Do you not believe you can be healed?” “Do you think God is waiting for you to fully put your faith in him to be healed?”

How do you handle those questions?

I was always struggling with this until I was in a small group setting and we were discussing prophecy and spiritual gifts. The speaker that night decided to talk about how all the gifts of the Spirit were connected. He talked about faith and prophecy and then he talked about faith and healing. I thought, “Here we go, again.”

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Which Roar Do You Listen To?

The lion is known to be the king of the jungle. There is only one lion amongst the lionesses and cubs in a pack. Lions are fierce, competitive and jealous. But they are also protective, kind to their own and the ultimate defender of the weak of those they are meant to protect. They like to be the king, and there is only room for one King.

The Bible describes both God and Satan in terms of a lion. I always thought this strange, so I dug a little deeper.

David cries out to God to save him from the mouth of lions (Psalm 22:21). Peter warns us, “Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour” (1 Peter 5:8). Then we find that God’s people are called the Tribe of Judah; the Lion is the symbol of their strength and their God as depicted from Genesis right through Revelation (Genesis 49:9 and Revelation 5:5).

How can two lions roam and rule? One is bound to defeat the other.

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Dear CFC Family…

Dear CFC Family,

I came to Belfast not knowing what I was getting myself into. I came with low self esteem, low confidence, and the thinking I wasn’t able to do anything good for God. I was searching. I knew Jesus. I was a Christian. But it was in my head. It would now and again travel to my heart and fill me with joy. And that is the only reason I am standing here today. I suffered from depression in America and here in Belfast. But it was the times that Jesus traveled his goodness and love from my head to my heart that saved me.

But when I came to Belfast God reached my heart furiously. Being in the community of CFC gave me the perfect environment to question, to struggle through the issues and the lies I was telling myself, to be honest about my doubts, to take two steps back for every step forward.

But I had a breakthrough. I had a healing. My heart was healed. Jesus came and spoke to me and gave me worth. Gave me confidence in him. He gave me the reason to keep on living.

The thing is Jesus could have done that on his own in a second without any help. But he used this church. He used the people I met at CFC and in Belfast. He can do anything he wants on his own. He changes people alone but he chooses to use us to further his Kingdom. He makes relationships important so we have a community to lean on. Jesus wants us to be there for each other. He wants us to bring him into all of our relationships. He uses us to bring him glory.

Thank you for being a community that loves Jesus.

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